It should come as a surprise to no one that MySpace just hasn’t been relevant for years. The best bit of professional advice I’ve heard recently regarding this social networking fossil was to either jump all in and be entirely committed to maintaining it as part of your social footprint or cancel your account outright. There was, I was told, no middle ground.
It should be needless to say, but I chose the latter.
Remarkably, it was an easy decision to make. I can count on one hand how many times I’ve logged into MySpace in the last three years, and every time I have, I’ve been disappointed. Yes, I was definitely ready to go.
Not that MySpace didn’t work hard to keep me, mind you. Here are the hoops for those of you willing to just say “no” …
How To Quit MySpace In 10 Irritating Steps:
- Step 1: Log in to your Myspace account. If you’re like me, it could take a while to remember which e-mail address and password you used. Be patient.
- Step 2: Upgrade your MySpace account to the new profile (otherwise you can’t even edit your account, much less cancel it). If you’ve done this already, because at one point you misguidedly considered keeping your account active, skip this step.
- Step 3: Click on the Edit Profile button.
- Step 4: Under the Account Settings & Privacy heading, click Cancel Account. At this point you’d think the easy end is right around the corner, wouldn’t you?
- Step 5: Click the button that reads Cancel Account. I know you think you just did this, but keep being patient.
- Step 6: Choose the button that best describes your reason for wanting to cancel the account. MySpace has graciously provided four options, none of which are Irrelevant or Slimy. Instead, the 4 options are Bored, Spam, Privacy, and E-Mail. According to them, by clicking one of those buttons, You can really help us improve Myspace! Once you have made your selection, it will automatically take you to the next step.
- Step 7: In this example, I have pressed Bored, only to be met by a message from MySpace attempting to woo me back by providing links where I can discover some “cool stuff” (presumably so I would no longer be bored). I must now again press a Cancel Account button to continue.
- Step 8: Click the button that reads Cancel Account. I know you think you just did this, but keep being patient. Again.
- Step 9: Read the friendly box explaining that if you cancel your account, all of your information, data, photos, videos, messages, etc. will be permanently and irretrievably removed … forever. MySpace has graciously provided a box for your comments. You must leave a comment before continuing to the next step. (I recommend leaving a funny one.)
- Step 10: Now, once your comment has been entered, you must again press … wait for it … Cancel Account to continue. At this point, there’s a real sense of closure settling in. Surely, this must be the end. After all, this is Step 10, right?
- Step 11: Wrong. Now you are informed that a confirmation e-mail is being sent to the account’s e-mail address. You must navigate to your e-mail and click that confirmation to complete the cancellation of your account. Do so. (The screen actually says “Thank you” at this point. Still, praying wouldn’t hurt.)
- Step 12: You have finally crossed the threshold, the end is in sight! Now you have only to confirm your e-mail address and press Cancel Account for the very last time, and then you will be free!
- Step 13: Well, free after the 48-hour waiting period, of course. Keep being patient.
Congratulations! You have now deleted your MySpace account!
Who else among us is brave enough to follow?